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the human towelie

allisonscrown:

"where’s my christian grey????” hopefully locked up in prison

yosssarian:

if pooh bear can wear a crop top so can i

gorlt:

stereotypes against white people are not dangerous at all. no one is out here stopping and frisking you guys for liking starbucks and chipotle. meanwhile, black teenagers suspected of being “thugs” and “threats” are slain on sight so please calm the fuck down and learn how to take a joke

neptunain:

go into a starbucks in NYC and say very loudly into your phone “this movie script is stale and trite! we need some new talent, someone with a fresh outlook” and wait

chekhov:

Today I put my hand in my backpack and felt a stress ball and I was like “oh? I have a stress ball?” and I squeezed it and it was a pear and it exploded and now I’m much more stressed than I was earlier :/

lordofthewincest:

skeletons have become a meme and that means there is a meme inside you, with you at all times.

thesoftghetto:

bblackgoldd:

I am so glad I pressed play

Damn! LOL

kazi-is-amazing:

Mr. Krabs displays his mastery of alchemy by transmuting eight Krabby Patties into a single pizza, such is the law of equivalent exchange.

kazi-is-amazing:

Mr. Krabs displays his mastery of alchemy by transmuting eight Krabby Patties into a single pizza, such is the law of equivalent exchange.

"My wife is not a handbag. If she doesn’t want to come, she doesn’t want to come. She is her own person and has her own life."
— Thomas Müller when asked why his wife didn’t attend the World Cup In Brazil (via emmertons)